Understanding Reality Bites in 2018

In light of the most recent court hearing of Brett Kavanaugh and this article from Vox which parallels Brett Kavanaugh's high school experience to the one offered by the 80's teen classic Sixteen Candles, I've been going back to my favorite films from the 80's and 90's with a new perspective and a deeper understanding of the influence and expectations that these films have set for our generation. 

Reality Bites - which stars then 'it' girl Winona Ryder as Lelaina Pierce and the forever brooding dream boy Ethan Hawke as Troy Dyer was released in 1994 and is easily one of my favorite coming-of-age films from that decade. I watched this movie for the first time when I was about seven years old. My siblings rented it out on VHS and i've been re-watching it almost every year for twenty years. My best friend and I still talk about recreating that scene in the car where Lelaina and Vickie jam out to Tempted by Squeeze (I'm Lelaina in this scenario btw. Just saying.)

So why am I suddenly giving my favorite film this examination? 

Because it's 2018 and I believe that it's important to look back on the pieces of pop culture where we draw our influences and which shaped our generation with a more critical mindset. This shows that we are willing to change the ideals set by society, that we grow as people and that some things that were culturally accepted before just shouldn't sit well with us anymore. The realizations I got from this film aren't as heavy as those mentioned in the article for Sixteen Candles but I think these things are still important to take note of so that we don't fall in to the trap that is this "random lottery of meaningless tragedy and a series of near escapes" to quote Troy Dyer, and that we learn to take better care of ourselves physically and emotionally. Let's wave the banner of self-love. 

Some would argue that the intention of this film was to be a commentary on 90's slacker-ism and that it satirized the generation they exemplified. Given that, there are still hoards of 20-something people who identified with these characters and their lifestyle - myself included. So for those who may have only scratched the surface and missed the subtext, here is my (very late) dissection of Reality Bites:


Stop idolizing Lelaina Pierce

Unless it's for her adorable pixie cut and her jeans+red top+ray-ban gas station look - this girl is not someone to look up to. Laney graduated at the top of her class and was supposedly a smart girl, but none of the huge decisions she made following her graduation were actually smart. 

She landed her first job and immediately feels entitled to change the system of how the whole office/production operates instead of adapting, building her network and trying to educate herself in an environment where she was new. She felt like she was too good for her job and she was better than everyone else there yet she couldn't assert herself with her boss. She eventually tries to sabotage her employer to get what she wants and instead gets herself fired.

Fast forward to her moping on the couch and building up the phone bill cause she spent her days talking on a psychic hotline. She can barely make rent at this point and just uses her dad's gas card to semi-scam people so she can make ends meet. 

She meets Michael (played by Ben Stiller) and suddenly becomes this doe-eyed, needy, helpless little girl. A far cry from the valedictorian we saw in the opening scene. Her life's work is this documentation of her and her friends' lives and she entrusted all of this to a boy she just met in the hopes that he could save her. Michael was well-meaning and actually wanted to help further her career, he passes her documentary on to his network who then does some modifications to her work. But despite giving little to no direction whatsoever for Michael to follow in the first place, Laney completely flips out and doesn't even explain herself properly. Instead, she breaks up with him and runs off to have pouty sex with Troy because he like, really "gets" her. 

This girl is self destructive.


Boys like Troy Dyer will ruin your life. 
It's not your job to save them.

Troy is the idealization of the philosophical yet deadbeat stereotype. He was unable to hold down any job because of the fear that it would render him inauthentic. He has daddy issues. He treats women like crap. All throughout the film he demeans Laney. He leads her on, tells her he loves her and then backpedals and tells her to not flatter herself. Then when she becomes unemployed and hits her lowest point, he takes advantage of their friendship and sleeps with her, because that's the only time he isn't intimidated by her and he starts feeling that they're on the same level.

He's a pseudo-intellectual self absorbed "broken" artist and in the end, he gets the girl. Why? Because, as my best friend put it: Laney was a valedictorian but she was just a prize to be won between two guys. Don't be Laney. You deserve better. 

It's not your responsibility to be an emotional crutch for men who mask their douchebaggery with their "art and sensitivity". If they can't change themselves, decide to be better people and treat you well, there's about a 0% that you'll be able to fix them. This type of scruffy, intellectual artist may seem attractive at first, but the emotional abuse that comes with him isn't.

Not to mention, Troy looked down on people who listened to Peter Frampton - like his own band was anything to be proud of. *eye roll*


Making money is not evil

There's a very short yet important point I want to make about this. This film holds an assumption that making money is inherently evil. Michael is the characterization of making money. He wears a suit. Troy is poor and smart and he doesn't "sell out" ergo Troy is considered the hero of this film. No. You should never feel guilty or wrong about making money to sustain your preferred lifestyle. You're an adult, you need to pay your bills and take responsibility for your own life.


The only character actually worth idolizing is Vickie

Vickie (Janeane Garofalo) is the most underrated character in this film. She was able to hold down a steady job, she gets promoted, she handles their finances and she explored her sexuality responsibly. 

She was grounded and she found the balance between her work and personal life. She even tries to offer Laney a job to help her out but Laney was too proud and looked down on retail work. Oh Laney.


Do not normalize this lifestyle because you find it easy to relate to

The reason this film has such a huge following is because its relatable to every 20 to 30-something out there. The struggle of finding a job, relationships, staying friends with people you were close to in college, meeting new people. It showcases real life to a certain extent, and i'm sure we've all been in Laney's shoes at some point. 

The thing is, Laney and Troy aren't healthy people. If this film had a sequel it would just show their older versions falling in to the same self-destructive cycle every two months. 

Although I still enjoy this film and I love quoting Troy Dyer's annoying intellectual lines to piss people off, it's important for anyone watching this film to remember that this isn't always how your early adult life should be. Yes, we all make mistakes but being young and idealistic is not an excuse to blow off the time you have now and seek out what's comfortable. 

Like I mentioned earlier, let's wave the banner of self love. Whether it's with your job, your partner or your friends, know your worth and know what you deserve. It's never too early to make sure you're on the right path to inner peace and a better future - without needing to call a psychic partner. 



*Credit to some of the points made go out to Sam Teran - the Vickie to my Laney.